A satirical redefinition of the word “Romney” has leapt from obscurity and into the limelight this week by cracking a list of the top 10 Google search results for the Republican presidential candidate’s last name.
Similar to the “Spreading Santorum” website that has so plagued anti-gay Republican Rick Santorum by redefining his last name to mean “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex,” “Spreading Romney” does the leading Republican candidate no favors.
Much to the campaign’s assured dismay, it defines the word “Romney” as a verb meaning, “To defecate in terror.”
The page was #4 overall in Google’s search results for the term “Romney” at time of this story’s publication.
On the website, the word “terror” links to The Huffington Post, which reminds readers that the Massachusetts Republican once strapped a dog to the roof of his vehicle ahead of a family road trip in 1983. According to a 2007 Boston Globe profile of the candidate, Romney’s oldest son, Tagg, yelled, “Gross!” as he noticed a brown liquid flowing down the back window from the Irish Setter Seamus.
“As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station,” the Globe noted. “There, he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.”
Asked by The Wall Street Journal about the bizarre behavior, Romney said simply: “Love my dog. That’s all I’ve got for ya.”
The story has haunted Romney for years, and looks to play at least a minor role in the 2012 campaign, should he become the nominee.
In a stroke of ironic luck, a protester with the group “Dogs Against Romney” was recently pulled over by police in Littleton, Colorado for suspected animal abuse after officers spotted a dog kennel with what appeared to be an animal inside, strapped to the top of a vehicle.
It turned out the man just had a stuffed animal inside and he was not cited.